2 yr. ago
So, last night I was having a pint at my local pub, right? I was minding me own business, just enjoying some alone time. You know, the usual. I'm a bloke in a Sheffield pub; wha' could possibly go wrong? ๐บ
Suddenly, there's this bloke, bit of a nutter, he starts belting out Celine Dion at the top of his lungs. Not a word of a lie, this bloke, just full on serenading the entire pub with โMy Heart Will Go Onโ. ๐
Now, I'm not one to judge, but it was a sight to behold. I mean, it's not every day you see a a 6, 4ft 6 tough looking bloke crooning love ballads in a pub, right? So, I'm trying to hold in me laughter, trying not to choke on me pint. Not only because of the spectacle, but 'cause this guys singing was as pleasant as a cat being strangled. ๐ค๐พ
I decide to pull a fast one, so I stand up, acting all serious like. I grab my empty pint glass, raise it high, and yell, โMate, that was bloody beautiful. Encore! Encore!โ The whole pub erupts, clapping and cheering. Bloke's face turns as red as a tomato, but he goes along with it, starts belting out another tune. ๐๐
Just as we're all having a good laugh, the unthinkable happens. The pub door swings open, and in walks me ex-girlfriend, Karen. Yeah, that Karen. As if the night wasn't already taking a turn for the peculiar. Her face drops when she sees me, but before she can say anything, I pipe up with a smirk, "Oi, Karen, didn't know you were a fan of live music. This lovely bloke here was just about to take requests."
You should've seen the look on her face; it was priceless as this guy starts singing right in her face. Guess that's what I call the perfect ending to an otherwise bizarre evening. You never know what you're gonna get in a Sheffield pub, eh?
#SheffieldShenanigans #UnexpectedKaraoke #ExWifeSurprise
Suddenly, there's this bloke, bit of a nutter, he starts belting out Celine Dion at the top of his lungs. Not a word of a lie, this bloke, just full on serenading the entire pub with โMy Heart Will Go Onโ. ๐
Now, I'm not one to judge, but it was a sight to behold. I mean, it's not every day you see a a 6, 4ft 6 tough looking bloke crooning love ballads in a pub, right? So, I'm trying to hold in me laughter, trying not to choke on me pint. Not only because of the spectacle, but 'cause this guys singing was as pleasant as a cat being strangled. ๐ค๐พ
I decide to pull a fast one, so I stand up, acting all serious like. I grab my empty pint glass, raise it high, and yell, โMate, that was bloody beautiful. Encore! Encore!โ The whole pub erupts, clapping and cheering. Bloke's face turns as red as a tomato, but he goes along with it, starts belting out another tune. ๐๐
Just as we're all having a good laugh, the unthinkable happens. The pub door swings open, and in walks me ex-girlfriend, Karen. Yeah, that Karen. As if the night wasn't already taking a turn for the peculiar. Her face drops when she sees me, but before she can say anything, I pipe up with a smirk, "Oi, Karen, didn't know you were a fan of live music. This lovely bloke here was just about to take requests."
You should've seen the look on her face; it was priceless as this guy starts singing right in her face. Guess that's what I call the perfect ending to an otherwise bizarre evening. You never know what you're gonna get in a Sheffield pub, eh?
#SheffieldShenanigans #UnexpectedKaraoke #ExWifeSurprise
3 yr. ago
Alright then, I arrived at work and what do I see? A new bloke with a head the size of a blumin' watermelon! ๐ I couldn't help but burst out laughing, but then I felt real bad because the new fella was one of the nicest people I've ever met. ๐
Just as I was trying to compose myself, our boss walks in and as soon as he sees the giant head, he lets out an "Oh my!" and walks out sniggering. ๐ I tell you what, it's not like the new guy can help being born with such a massive noggin, is it? It's not like he can just pop down to the head shrinking clinic and get it sorted out. ๐คทโโ๏ธ
But I'll tell you what, next time I'll stick up for the poor lad. I'll shout out, "Hey, you! Not everyone was born with a regular shaped head, you know!" ๐ช Of course, that'll probably just make things worse, but I reckon it's worth a try.
Anyway, moral of the story: don't judge a book by its cover, even if that cover happens to be a giant head. Just be kind and remember that we're all different in our own way. And for goodness sake, don't be like our boss and make fun of someone for something they can't help. ๐
#bigheadproblems #watermelonhead #kindnessiskey #dontbeajerk #lovewins โค๏ธ
Just as I was trying to compose myself, our boss walks in and as soon as he sees the giant head, he lets out an "Oh my!" and walks out sniggering. ๐ I tell you what, it's not like the new guy can help being born with such a massive noggin, is it? It's not like he can just pop down to the head shrinking clinic and get it sorted out. ๐คทโโ๏ธ
But I'll tell you what, next time I'll stick up for the poor lad. I'll shout out, "Hey, you! Not everyone was born with a regular shaped head, you know!" ๐ช Of course, that'll probably just make things worse, but I reckon it's worth a try.
Anyway, moral of the story: don't judge a book by its cover, even if that cover happens to be a giant head. Just be kind and remember that we're all different in our own way. And for goodness sake, don't be like our boss and make fun of someone for something they can't help. ๐
#bigheadproblems #watermelonhead #kindnessiskey #dontbeajerk #lovewins โค๏ธ
3 yr. ago
It's about damn time spring came around. I don't know about you but I was getting real tired of those cold winter snaps. Now that the sun is out and the birds are singing, I can finally take a stroll around the duck pond again... wow I sound like a boring old man ๐
One of my favourite things to do in the spring is take walks around the duck pond/nature park near to where I live. There's something about the fresh air and the sound of the birds that just makes me feel alive. But, I swear to god, if I see one more condom lying on the ground, I'm gonna lose it. What kind of sick freaks are out there doing who-knows-what by the pond at night? It's like a breeding ground for perverts and weirdos.
I mean, what kind of sicko leaves used condoms lying around near a public walking path for others to walk on? The sight of discarded condoms and other miscellaneous debris littering the paths is enough to make me want to gag. ๐คฎ๐คฎ๐คฎ
Are people so morally bankrupt nowadays that they can't even be bothered to dispose of their own seedy rubbish? It's a disgrace, and a blight on the otherwise serene beauty of this place. Who knows what kind of filth and disease these perverts have left behind?
If only we had a pack of dogs to chase these scumbags away. Or better yet, let's bring back fox hunting and use these perverts as prey. It's time to take matters into our own hands and rid society of these twisted freaks once and for all. They deserve nothing less than to be shot on sight.
So let this be a warning to all those who dare to defile the sanctity of our public spaces. We will not stand idly by as you desecrate our parks and playgrounds. ๐คฌ The wrath of justice will be swift and merciless. We will find you, and we will make you pay!!! ๐
#Spring #Walks #Weirdos
One of my favourite things to do in the spring is take walks around the duck pond/nature park near to where I live. There's something about the fresh air and the sound of the birds that just makes me feel alive. But, I swear to god, if I see one more condom lying on the ground, I'm gonna lose it. What kind of sick freaks are out there doing who-knows-what by the pond at night? It's like a breeding ground for perverts and weirdos.
I mean, what kind of sicko leaves used condoms lying around near a public walking path for others to walk on? The sight of discarded condoms and other miscellaneous debris littering the paths is enough to make me want to gag. ๐คฎ๐คฎ๐คฎ
Are people so morally bankrupt nowadays that they can't even be bothered to dispose of their own seedy rubbish? It's a disgrace, and a blight on the otherwise serene beauty of this place. Who knows what kind of filth and disease these perverts have left behind?
If only we had a pack of dogs to chase these scumbags away. Or better yet, let's bring back fox hunting and use these perverts as prey. It's time to take matters into our own hands and rid society of these twisted freaks once and for all. They deserve nothing less than to be shot on sight.
So let this be a warning to all those who dare to defile the sanctity of our public spaces. We will not stand idly by as you desecrate our parks and playgrounds. ๐คฌ The wrath of justice will be swift and merciless. We will find you, and we will make you pay!!! ๐
#Spring #Walks #Weirdos
